When you meet a new guy you like and feel very attracted to, it’s easy to wonder if he feels the same way. But in your eagerness to learn how to get this guy to like you or make him chase you, you may seem desperate and push him away.

Here are three tragic habits of women that repel men:

1. Always contact him

When he’s always thinking about you, it’s only natural that you want to let him know. If you find yourself doing any of the following more often than he does, that’s a red flag:

• Calling him because you heard or read about something interesting, or because you knew there was a good band playing somewhere, or because someone told you about some good event you want to invite him to.
• Calling to ask why he hasn’t called you.
• Emailing him, texting him, Facebooking him, sending him a cute card, dropping by his house, or somehow trying to initiate some kind of contact.
• Asking him how he feels – especially asking him how he feels about you or the relationship.
• Inviting him to come and join you, or somehow act as the social manager of the relationship.

At first glance, these measures may seem completely harmless. You may feel that he just sees you as friendly, maybe even takes it as a compliment and wants to get closer to you. But doing any of these things more than he does can be scares him away.

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2. Let uncertainty guide your interactions

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At best, when most men feel stalked, they will feel they don’t have to work to win you over and will immediately stop their efforts. At worst, he will begin to feel more than just persecuted.

If you keep checking in with him in those friendly little ways that are really about getting the reassurance you need, he’ll start to get that chased feeling. And he will do what anyone would do when he feels cramped, suffocated or pressured – he will start to move away from you.

Whether you realize it or not, the desire to do all these friendly things comes from only one place – your fear of losing a man by not letting him know that you are interested in him, this is often from a uncertain attachment explained by 2005 research. But you couldn’t be more wrong. By giving in to this fear, you run a worse risk of scaring a man away for good.

This type of chasing behavior is like an alarm for a man. It sends the message to him that you are unsure of yourself and sends an overly aggressive vibe, says research from the American Psychological Association (APAwhich makes him feel uncomfortable, even trapped.

This makes you less attractive to say the least and ensures that he doesn’t feel inspired to explore getting closer. After all, you are interfering with his chance to learn how he feels about the real you, so sooner or later he will lose interest and then start looking for a chance to escape.

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3. Not letting him have space to meet the real you

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I know how frustrating it is to sit back and let a man take charge. You want him to know that you are interested in him. You want to make it easy for him to ask you out again. You want to appear enthusiastic and easygoing.

Additional research from the APA supports this how the only way to make sure a man feels inspired to do everything in his power to get closer to you is to make sure he feels happy and good around you.

What is the best way to do it? Give him the breathing space and opportunities he needs to start pleasing you. As long as you seem happy and show him how much you enjoy his companya man will always come back for more.

Best of all, when he sees that you’re a woman who’s confident in herself and doesn’t need to pursue him, he’ll step up his game to make sure another man doesn’t hit on him!

A study from Nonverbal Communication In Close Relationships Journal helps explain how the signs of attraction between people aren’t always obvious, and each approaches the relationship with different goals in mind. But if you act out of desperation that you’ll lose the guy you like, you could be the reason your relationship goes nowhere.

Do you think you’re just being “friendly” by sending him a flirty text or baking him a birthday cake? The truth is, you’re probably doing more harm than good and pushing him away instead.

When you find yourself falling for a manit’s normal to start feeling that if you don’t show enough interest in him, he might get the wrong message and drift away. You want to make sure he knows you like him, but you have to do it without going overboard and making yourself look desperate.

So let him take the lead while you continue to be receptive to him. It will powerfully fuel his passion for you.

He’ll love you and appreciate you for it, and you’ll be able to relax in the knowledge that you’ve become a rare, irresistible, highly desirable being he’s been looking for—and he’d be a fool to take you for granted.

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Rory Raye is a relationship coach who has helped thousands of women transform their love lives.