Luggage. We all have it. But at what point does it become a relationship affair? My clients often tell me that they are looking for someone with little or no emotional baggage. Yes, it can make life easier if there are no ex-wives to negotiate with, no child support to pay, and no illnesses or emotional issues to deal with. But if you are of a certain age, hopefully you have lived and experienced as much as possible.

But handling emotional baggage well can strengthen a relationship rather than become a deal breaker. So don’t be so quick to write someone off because of some extra baggage. On the other hand, you may come across one few relationship breakers which you cannot overcome or accept. That’s why it’s important to understand what works for you in a relationship — and what doesn’t.

If you continue to ignore these nine signs, you’ll never find it:

1. Date someone who “jumps the gun” on a relationship

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If your boyfriend or girlfriend proclaims his undying love for you on the first date, chances are he/she is not right for you. That’s not flattering—it’s creepy. If this person thinks he “knows” you after just a few hours or even just a few dates, then he’s not interested in the real you. He just is interested in having someone.

According to research from the University of Denvermoving too fast without giving enough time to develop a strong foundation in your relationship is associated with a higher potential for breakup. Several studies emphasize the importance of taking time to build trust and compatibility before making important decisions.

This person may turn out to be a stalker or worse. You are better off alone than with someone who wants to be intimate too soon.

RELATED: The Brutal Truth About Jumping Into A Rebound Relationship Too Soon

2. Being too specific about your “dream” person

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We all have our ‘dream’ or ‘perfect woman’. “He must be over six-foot-five and have a full head of hair.” “She must weigh 110 pounds and have a 36D chest.” But if these are your criteria for a “soulmate”, I have news for you: You are unlikely to find the love of your life!

Conversely, do you want to be with someone who finds you attractive but could care less about the person inside? Appearance is fleeting. Find a soul mate which is beautiful under the skin. You never know what package your soulmate will arrive in. Be flexible and you might just be pleasantly surprised.

3. Date people you know won’t fit into your family

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If someone is truly your soul mate, he or she will be around for a long time. You probably want to be with someone who would fit in well with your family and friends… someone you’d be proud to bring home to mom and dad.

Don’t date a man who wants you to dress like a porn star. He doesn’t see you as “wife material” or the mother of his future children. And guys, if you’re genuine looking for your soul matedon’t date someone you’d be ashamed to bring home to your parents.

4. Being with someone who doesn’t consider others

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A person who treats others badly, such as waiters and service people, has a bad character. Chances are, he or she will treat you just as hard down the road.

According to research by UC Berkeley expertsnasty people—those with selfish, combative, manipulative personalities—don’t end up ahead or more successful than anyone else down the line. So don’t fool yourself into thinking your partner is just ambitious—instead, judge them by how they treat others personally and professionally. Never settle for someone rude or inconsiderate of others’ feelings.

RELATED: 5 Red Flag Signs Your Partner Is Inconsiderate and Very Selfish

5. A partner who sees you first and foremost as a future parent

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If you are desperate to have children – and yes, this is true for some men too – you cannot let this affect your search for a partner. Don’t settle for anything less than a soulmate because your biological clock is ticking. And if your potential partner brings up the topic of having children with you before you’ve even had your second date, be wary of being used as a sperm bank.

6. To put up with bad behavior or hygiene

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A true soulmate will have your feelings in mind. He or she will not offend you with bad manners or poor hygiene. If he spends every meal on his cell phone and avoids talking to you, get rid of him. (If he’s a doctor or a single parent and gets an emergency call, give him some peace!)

Poor hygiene can be a big dealbreaker for potential partners. Research shows that poor personal care can significantly negatively affect relationships – often leading to reduced attraction, less intimacy and even breakups.

If your potential soulmate always meets you in a t-shirt and flip-flops and doesn’t bother to brush her teeth, then she doesn’t care about your feelings. If he burps and farts at the dinner table and picks his teeth with a matchbook, he’s not for you. Your soul mate will want to show you his “best side” even after the first few dates.

7. A partner who is full of himself.

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Confidence is attractive — bragging is not. Confidence may even be a strong predictor of overall romantic attractiveness, according to Sean Murphya Ph.D. student in Psychological Science at the University of Queensland School of Psychology, who conducted four research studies testing how people respond to trust in the dating world.

Men who brag about how much money they make, their six pack or their brand new Ferrari are not soul mates. This “macho talk” means he’s more interested in yourself than you. And it works both ways.

Men are turned off by women who always talk about their looks and have a taste for expensive jewelry or manicures. Look for a partner who is modest about appearance and accomplishments.

RELATED: 3 Small Root Causes of Low Self-Confidence, According to a Psychologist

8. A high maintenance partner or needs

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Never settle for a partner who relies solely on you for entertainment. An attractive soul mate is independent, not attached to you at the hip. He or she should have your interests at heart. When I ask my male clients if they care what kind of job a woman has, 95 percent of the time, they will say, “I don’t care what she does as long as she has a job and it’s something she like. or passionate about.”

He doesn’t want the pressure of knowing she’s just waiting for him to finish work or whatever he’s doing so he can come home to entertain her. A certain degree of independence makes it possible a balanced and healthy relationship.

9. A partner who always talks about their ex

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Recent studies found that while breakups take a more immediate emotional toll on women, men often “never fully recover — they simply move on — but knowing your guy is still hung up on his ex can be a real turn-off.” No one wants to hear stories or complaints about the ex. You want to get involved with someone in the past and ready for a new relationship.

I often get feedback from both men and women about their dates going on and on about their exes. And usually it’s incredibly harmful. Put the past in the past and focus on the person in front of you. Baggage or not, character quality will carry you through a long and happy journey with your soul mate.

RELATED: 6 Zodiac Signs Who Hang On To Their Ex

Marla Materson is an award-winning author, spiritual life coach, matchmaker, energy healer and intuitive reader.