My father passed away recently, so I have also been helping my mother. All of this has put a strain on our marriage — I go one way, and my husband goes the other, plus my father-in-law has been complaining that I won’t come over. I’ve tried to explain to him that I can’t be in two places at once.

Our 25th wedding anniversary is coming up and we’ve told both of our parents that we won’t be coming over that weekend and will cut back to every other weekend so we can spend time together. To our dismay, we got pushback, with comments like, “Well, see you every night.” We tried to explain that when we get home, eat and do the dishes, there isn’t much time together, and definitely not enough for a day at the park or something.

Any advice on how to handle this? We want to continue helping but we need our time too, so we thought we had proposed a good compromise. — THE WISCONSIN BURNS

DEAR BURNOUT: Is there anyone else who could be of help to your father-in-law, who now seems isolated from everyone but you and his son? Are there any relatives or friends of him and his deceased wife who could visit him? If the answer is no, someone from your religious community or local agency on aging may be able to help.

You and your husband seem like loving and generous people, but you need to put the health of your marriage higher on your priority list and not allow yourselves to be blamed for it.

******

DEAR ABBY: A close friend, who I also work with, agreed to attend a paleontology exhibit with me about six months before the exhibit was scheduled to open. We were both excited about it and often talked about how much fun it would be to attend together.

About a week after it opened, I was unexpectedly out of the office for a medical emergency, and my friend attended the exhibit without me. Am I wrong to feel upset? She keeps telling me to get over it and is not understanding at all. Am I overreacting? — BROAD IN THE EAST

BEST BROAD: If the show was over before you could go, don’t blame your friend for seeing it. But if the show was still on, I can’t blame you for being upset that she left without you. The question now is, is this worth ending a friendship over? (I hope not.)

******

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

******

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order “How to Be Popular.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (US funds) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

(EDITORS: If you have editorial questions, please contact Clint Hooker, [email protected].)

COPYRIGHT 2024 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

1130 Walnut, Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500

Copy the article link