Austin Stowell I am grateful for the way NCIS: Origins has created space for meaningful—and necessary—discussions about mental health as someone who coped with a personal loss while filming the hit CBS series.

Stowell, 39, opened up to Us Weekly about channeling his own grief when he played Leroy Gibbs in the prequel, saying: “I had to deal with a personal trauma. I lost my dad four years ago to suicide and it’s obviously not easy.”

NCIS: Origins precede with an important example by centering the series around a pivotal point in Gibbs’ life, paving the way for Stowell to work through her own feelings.

“I get to take part in it all the time and I get to exercise those feelings. I get to revisit them in some way that four years ago would have been too fresh, too much and too emotional for me to touch,” he admitted. “I think that because I’ve had some time and space, I was more prepared to play this character than I would have been four years ago.”

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Stowell often draws on her own experience for her performance, adding, “It informs me because I’ve gone through what the stages of grief are. Certainly through the first 10 episodes that we’ve shot now, the audience gets the full range of emotions (with Gibbs).

NCIS: Origins follows a young Gibbs in 1991, years before the events of NCIS. To take over the role created by Mark HarmonStowell had his work cut out for him who NCIS: Origins drew viewers into a period in Gibbs’ life shortly after the death of his wife and daughter. Gibbs tries to navigate his new job as a special agent at the NIS Camp Pendleton office while he still dealing with losing loved ones.

“Rage, sadness, grief, remorse and glimmers of hope (all are explored on the show.) Those who learn to live with grief and loss don’t move on from it. You just learn how to live with it,” Stowell explained to Us. “It’s very difficult and some people are less comfortable living with it afterwards. But if this show can ease other people’s pain in some way and help them learn to live with it, I would consider it a great success.”

Stowell’s approach to playing this extremely traumatic point in Gibbs’ life has drawn critics and fans alike. But that too required a lot of hard work which often influenced Stowell long after he finished an episode.

“Sometimes (the emotional weight of a scene) makes it (come home). Sometimes I can’t control. It’s not a faucet I can’t turn on and off. It just is — and I’ve learned to accept that. I think it makes me a better actor, a better man and a better friend. It makes me a more understanding member of society (because) sometimes people are just having a hard time or having a bad day,” he continued he. “It has helped me to be less judgmental and have some head space, as they say. I hope that translates to my work and to the people I work with at the end of the day.”

While reflects on being allowed to lead such a successful franchise as NCISStowell expressed how grateful he was for the cast and crew of the show.

“Sure, we’re making a TV show for the people out there and we’re really looking forward to it and want to share it with them. But the crew that I go to work with every day have a more intimate look at the process and I trust that they gives me the comfort and the space to reveal myself,” he noted. “They have my gratitude because they are there for me all the time. This wonderful and talented crew that we have on this show. They are as responsible as I am for this character because of the comfort they allow me to play Gibbs.”

Stowell maybe playing the main character but he refuses to take most of the credit. He went to great lengths to highlight how everyone on set deserved the credit despite being the face of the new show, which already has a full season order.

“If Mark Harmon was here right now, he’d look at me and laugh. He’d shake his head and say, ‘You don’t know what’s coming.’ I don’t think there is any way to prepare (to lead a show),” he said Us. “I am the man my mom and dad raised me to be. That influence on me has been my biggest tool in dealing with the workload and responsibility that comes with playing a character like this.”

It has sometimes been “uncomfortable” for Stowell to hear himself designated as No. 1 on the call sheet, adding, “I never want to look at it like that. There are times when it’s mentioned on the record and I ask them not to say it. We are. It’s all about this team. Mark Harmon, David J. North, Gina Lucita Monreal and Sean Harmon has done a fantastic job of creating a team that has just taken such ownership of this project.”

Stowell recalled how the executive producers weren’t just looking at talent while casting the show. (The series also plays Kyle Schmid, Mariel Molino, Tyla Abercrumbie, Caleb Foote and Diane Rodriguez.)

“They chose (people) because of who they were as people. They’re all phenomenal actors and we found exactly the people we wanted for those roles. I’m so lucky to go to work with the people I go to work with with every day,” he shared. “Personally, this is a character I jump out of bed to play in the morning. I am very honored to have been cast as Gibbs. It means a lot to me and I didn’t think it would mean so much to me. Just in the first five months I have grown so much as a person. I’m Gibbs’ biggest fan now. It’s a dream job.”

Despite the fact that reactions were not sought NCIS: Origins as he remains involved in the day-to-day work, Stowell is hopeful that viewers feel represented on screen. Stowell expressed to Us how NCIS: Origins has potentially paved the way for others to relate to Gibbs’ emotional journey.

“It’s something that’s very near and dear to my heart. If we can be the conversation starter — which I think is our job as artists and storytellers. Our job is to be the catalyst for uncomfortable conversations,” he said. “If we ​can help someone out there live an easier tomorrow, that would be the greatest gift to me.”

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There was a lot of pressure too NCIS: Origins to succeed not just in the shadow of NCIS but as its own story. It has, and Stowell is even more motivated to finish the show as he prepares to film the remaining episodes of Season 1.

“It’s my job to keep it going. It’s my responsibility to my co-stars, to the crew and to the fandom at large. I want to play Gibbs to the best of my ability and leave no stone unturned,” he said Us. “I don’t want to look back and regret something later that I could have or should have. It drives me all the time – enough to get a full season order. It’s a nice vote of confidence to say it’s working, but it’s not time for party.”

He concluded: “If anything it means, ‘OK, it’s working so keep doing it. Don’t change anything and keep going.’ We put 300 people to work every day who depend on us to some extent, so it would be disrespectful of me not to give it my all.”

NCIS: Origins airs on CBS Mondays at 10:00 PM ET and is currently streaming on Paramount+.