Dating is something of an adventure through a minefield, avoiding all the mistakes until you find that one person who checks all your boxes. That said, nobody’s perfect, so often we’re happy with someone checking most of these boxes. Whether it’s on the first date or the third, both parties will inevitably encounter some hiccups along the way.

These harmless “beige flags” aren’t worth writing anyone off – but knowing the difference between “beige flags” and subtle behaviors that may be easy to ignore at first but signal a more insidious problem will save you a lot of time and heartache. My friend always says, “You have to teach a man how to treat you.” And I couldn’t agree more. Don’t accept being treated as if you, or your time, are anything less than valuable. Can’t stand bad treatment from anyone. And make it clear from day one.

Here are twelve low-quality behaviors that will cause quality women to immediately dismiss a man:

1. Obsessing over breaking everything

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As a relationship progresses, it’s ultimately up to the couple to decide what works for them when it comes to paying for meals and dates. But if the person you’re dating is constantly keeping track of everything to make sure you’re doing (and paying) your “fair share,” that means they’ll be monitoring your every move and measuring give-and-take instead of giving out love and respect.

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2. Asking or expecting the woman to pay on the first date

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While the debate rages over who should pay on the first date, it is generally believed that in heterosexual relationships it is the man’s responsibility to make the first date. Doing so is chivalrousand a sign of respect for your time.

However, a survey from 2008 found that it’s become more common for men to expect women to at least offer to chip in, and a great way for women to return respect to the man they’re on a date with – maybe just tread carefully if he accepts your offer. If the relationship starts out that way, it’s likely to stay that way.

3. Arriving late without apology or warning

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Things can happen unexpectedly that can cause a person to be late, and there are times when we need to show mercy to someone who is not as punctual as we might like. However, it’s incredibly easy to send someone a quick text when you’re driving off schedule.

4. Not showing up at all when they said they would

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Even if he calls the next day or week, it’s a red flag and the height of rudeness to not show up for a date — and offer no explanation for your absence.

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5. Constant cancellation or rebooking of dates

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Sometimes things come up that require cancellation or rebooking. But doing it consistently is a red flag and can indicate many things, such as someone in a relationship who suddenly can’t get away from their partner for your date or someone who is emotionally unavailable. You deserve someone who is willing and happy to spend time with you.

6. Lying about your whereabouts

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A relationship is nothing without trust. You don’t have to keep track of someone’s every move, but if you can’t trust anyone to be honest about where they are or what they do, you can’t trust them with anything.

7. Lying about seeing other people

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During the dating stage, it’s perfectly okay — and expected — for each of you to dating other people. However, once you decide to become intimate or exclusive, it is important that you are honest with each other about other people who may be in your life.

8. Making sarcastic comments that put you down

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Teasing you about your weight, intelligence, or looks isn’t flirting—it’s emotional manipulation. “When someone gives backhanded compliments and insults the other person,” dating coach Sabrina Zohar advises, “it makes someone feel vulnerable and question themselves.”

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9. Flirting or making inappropriate comments about other women

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As humans, we will find ourselves physically attracted to other people when we are dating or in a relationship. But acting on that attraction is another matter.

10. Breaking promises

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What’s the point of being in a relationship with someone if you can’t trust them? A relationship without trust can lead to negative outcomes such as more conflict and anxiety, research from 2023 confirms.

11. Always asks you for money

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Everyone falls on hard times at some point. A relationship is a partnership, and sometimes we may need a little help from the other person. But self-respecting people are not in the business of putting their partner in the bank forever.

12. Introduce yourself as a friend when you’re in a relationship

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You should be proud to be with the person you are with. Being introduced as a “friend” when you’re clearly something more could be a sign that they want others to think they’re romantically available.

If you feel upset or disrespected, no one has the right to say you are too sensitive. Making a list of behaviors that you find disrespectful is the first step to asserting your worth and raising your value, with yourself and in the world.

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Rhonda Cort is the founder of The High Value Woman and CEO of Magnetic Woman International, a company that specializes in helping women entrepreneurs enjoy a fulfilling love life.